Review of Kristen Skedgell's memoir, "Losing The Way."
Greetings, readers. The following is an important book review of Losing The Way: A Memoir of Spiritual Longing, Manipulation, Abuse, and Escape. The book is a memoir by Kristen Skedgell, published in 2008. The review is written by Liz Childers, a former follower of a Way offshoot.
I know Kristen and her story. What she reveals in her book is extremely disturbing. In my view, among other things, it shows Victor Paul Wierwille, the founder of The Way,
at his worst: a depraved sexual predator.
As I said, the book review was written by Liz Childers. On May 1, 2026, Liz published her review on
her Substack account called "Finding My Way," and she gave me
permission to published here. You can also read it on Substack at "Review of Losing the Way - by Liz Childers - Finding My Way."
Note: the three memoirs Liz refers to that pertain to The Way are
1) The Cult That Snapped by Karl Kahler 2) Losing The
Way by Kristen Skedgell (out of print). 3) Undertow by Charlene L.
Edge (yours truly).
Review of Losing the Way - by Liz Childers
- Finding My Way
|
A
memoir that details some of the sexual abuse inside The Way International
(TWI).
Of the
three memoirs written by former members of TWI, Kristin Skedgell’s Losing
the Way gives the most detail into sexual abuse that happened there.
Skedgell joined The Way International (TWI) as a teenager and was even part
of a feature article in Life Magazine in 1971.
When I
was in college, I came across some stories online by women who were sexually
abused by the founder of the The Way International (TWI), Victor Wierwille.
Over 20 years later, I can still remember sitting in that college computer
lab feeling so ill that I shut down the computer and walked away. To even
entertain the idea that this man we all revered could have done such things
was unfathomable. Imagine
the feeling you had when any celebrity, author, or politician that you liked
made the news for rape, sexual abuse, or molesting children, and multiply
that feeling. My parents had his wedding pictures on the wall in our hallway.
Multiple paintings and quotations of him adorned other walls in our house.
When we listened to recordings of his teachings, adults in the room who had
met or at least seen him while he was alive got tears in their eyes. Still,
I could not completely discount what I read in that computer lab. Although I
am very fortunate that I was not a victim of sexual abuse during my time in
the cult, I had been taught the same twisting of scripture that was used to
manipulate those women into sleeping with Wierwille, which I described in
this post:
Skedgell’s
abuse begins with Wierwille giving her a pat on her behind when she is just
fifteen years old. Later, two different men manipulate her into oral sex. As
one of them says, “[God]
doesn’t care what we do with our bodies…We just met each other’s needs,
that’s all…All things are pure to the pure. My heart is in fellowship. Your
heart is in fellowship. This is only a sin if you’re not there, understand?”
(pgs. 72-73) This is
the same teaching I had heard, and it’s maddening to me how manipulative this
was. If Skedgell says no, she is admitting she’s not spiritually mature. Later,
Wierwille offers to "show [her] how to really make love to a man” and
continues to have sex with her after she’s married because “he is…the man of
God and I am still the one who can meet his needs.” The
sexual abuse highlights another aspect of life in a cult that Skedgell
returns to again and again: divorcing oneself from one’s own thoughts,
feelings, and even bodily sensations. For example, here she describes how she
overcomes her hesitations about sex with Wierwille: “Suddenly,
something shifts deep inside me. Now I get it: ‘all things are pure to the
pure.’ My mind can do anything…I have successfully squelched my feelings, and
my renewed mind is in control. I am finally committed to the Word. In the
bright light of the Coachman Suite, I am initiated.” (p. 120) In a
similar vein, Skedgell describes the many times she struggled with depression
and intrusive thoughts during her years in TWI. One of my own reasons for
pursuing a degree in mental health is that TWI (like most cults) told us they
had all the answers to life while actually failing to teach anything useful
for handling mental health issues like anxiety, depression, or suicidal
ideation. In fact, the teachings often caused harm. Skedgell
tries to handle her overwhelming feelings and intrusive thoughts by speaking
in tongues as much as possible, reciting scripture, throwing herself even
deeper into TWI activities like witnessing to get new recruits or joining a
leadership program called The Corps. When she reaches out to leadership for
help, they lecture her, cast devil spirits out of her, and tell her stay with
her abusive husband. Eventually,
Skedgell visits Wierwille for help when she is experiencing suicidal
ideation, and his answer is to tell her to stop saying that and to “show you
what’s good about being alive.” Of course, that’s sex with him. Skedgell
did finally leave and eventually became a clinical social worker, getting a
master’s in divinity from Yale Divinity School and an M.S. in social work
from Columbia. Losing
the Way is
out of print, but I was able to get it from my local library through an
interlibrary loan request. For
further reading, check out: Was Victor Paul Wierwille, Founder of the Way International, a Sexual Predator? by Charlene Edge (author of another TWI
memoir, Undertow) Kristen
Skedgell’s blog, Thriving Reality ---END--- Thanks for reading! Charlene |
Comments